Mixed feelings

I feel like I am on the Titan... the scary (actually I LOVE it) roller coaster at 6 Flags.
Today I stopped by at my parent's place to say HI. I haven't seen them in a few days, and it seems like after 4-5 days they flip if I don't see them.
Anywho, so it was confirmed that my dad was upset with me. It is kind of a weird feeling to not feel bad when my dad is angry at me. It used to kill me growing up when he's scowl me. Leisha told me something today that kind of put it in perspective. It is just like when you have kids of your own, you have to do what is best for them even if they do not like it. It is funny to think of my parents like that. It feels like not that long ago I was sneaking out of the house late at night. Ha ha.

Also, I watched my mom doing her hair and makeup for work... she was sweating and a little panicky trying to get everything done... frustrated that her hair needs another perm, but she doesn't have the money. She complained about stomach aches, diarrhea, etc. all because she is so stressed out with their finances. I feel bad for her! I love my mom and hate to see her so worked up, ready to cry at a drop of a hat because she is so emotionally tired. I sympathize with her because I would be the same way... in fact, I am the same way when I have to try to deal with our own financial short comes. How can I not feel sorry for her? I wanna hug her and tell her it will be okay... I wanna get a massage for her so she can relax... I wanna... WAIT. Wasn't it just the other day that I was mad at her and crying because I am like her? Wasn't I just shuddering at the thought of just being in her presence??

Gosh, I HATE this feeling!! One minute I am angry at her (and them) and the next I want to swoop in and save them. I can't find a middle ground and I think that is what kills me the most...being an emotional wreck. I can't handle it. Gah!