Today is the third day of classes. The first two days were full of syllabi's and needed materials, which by the way, if you ever want to major in art you first might want to win the lottery... it is SO expensive!!
Anyway, yesterday I kind of went through a melt down because I have been doubting my artistic abilities. I have always been good at art... elementary school-high school and even in all my foundation classes in college, I have at least been one of the top 5 better artist. So I was a little nervous going into my intermediate painting class, it is no longer foundations... this is a class where all the students are painting majors. I went into this class knowing that I may not be one of the top but in fact I may be one of the worst.
Well, I started this class off being late. I hate being late! And especially to the first class, I feel like I've already missed a ton of information. My teacher was going over the syllabus and all the materials we need for class. I am sitting looking over the paper in my hand and thinking... WHAT IN THE WORLD IS SHE TALKING ABOUT? (This is not a good thing to be thinking.) What are supports? What is cradled Masonite? What am I doing? Okay... we are building our own canvases... cool! I don't know how to do that... I need to buy all the supplies? Where do I get those? How much do I need? Bring your own painting supplies? I have paints... what colors do I need? Can you be more specific? TOO MANY QUESTIONS!
Ha ha, you should have seen me today at Asel Art (art store in town... awesome). I was looking for more "professional" paint brushes because I have destroyed my cheap ones...anywhoit was ridiculous! I wish I would have taken a picture of this wall of paint brushes! I was so confused! There were so many different brushes to choose from, different brands, different uses... which ones to buy?!?! I mean seriously? I almost had a break down there! I finally just grabbed about 7 different sizes and tips.
Okay, so not knowing vocabulary and which brushes are best isn't something that is going to kill my painting career. I will learn all that... and I may look like a fool in front of everyone else in class who have own studio (stinking people who know more than me)... but I will get there. My fear is that, what if I am just a hobby painter? Sure I can paint something and it looks great, it looks real... but do I have the creativity to be a professional painter? Our teacher made it clear to us that there is a difference between being able to draw or paint something that looks real... she called that "skill" not "art". And those who have the "skill" are just hobby painters, you have to have something more to be an artist. Well... what if I don't have it? This is my major!
It is kind of scary to go into this not knowing what the outcome will be. And I guess I am more scared because I haven't had the opportunity to prove to myself that I do have it... the creativity and pzazzSo we will see this semester how it goes. Hopefully I don't fail! He he. :o)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Aaah, the fear of the unknown. I know it well! Well, I don't know if God's plan is for you to be a hobby painter or a professional but I know that He will be guiding you as you find out this year what your future holds, whatever that may be! And I pray that all of your doubt and insecurity will be removed as you become more comfortable in your classes; pretty soon the new will have worn off and it'll be old hat to you--of that I am sure! You have more talent in your little finger than I have in my entire body and no matter which direction God points you, you are going to succeed!
You got it,Niketenko! I remember my first painting class being insanely scary, but you will catch on. I KNOW I am one of those hobby painters, but you are much more talented than I. You'll find your nitch!
You're going to do great! Trust me, I'm the hobby art appreciator. I don't even know basic art knowledge like color wheels and stuff...thank you Arlington Independent School District's phenomenal 1980's appreciation for the arts!! You've gotta do great, you're going to change the world with your glorious talent!!
Post a Comment